Kanye West Converts to Islam

Infamous Rapper and Music Producer,Kanye West, joins a large group of celebrities who have embraced Islam as their new faith.

The award winning Producer took the shahadah eleven months ago while promoting his Clothing line 'Past Tell' in Iran. Unlike most Celebrity converts to Islam who have converted to Sunni Islam, Kanye has been influenced by Islams largest minority group, The Shia.

Often seen with Irans Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei, Kanye represents a more hip and approachable form of belief to young Shiaas all over the world. When asked about Irans Nuclear programme at a recent press conference, Kanye Said that this was a conspiracy because "George Bush doesnt care about Arab People"

The often controversial Rapper has also re-recorded some of his songs as a means of expressing his new faith. "Ali Walks" (an adaptation of hit single 'Jesus Walks') is a firm favourite in downtown Tehran. "Cat Stevens did it with Peace Train and Wild World so why not" said West.

The artist recently upset those at the National Islamic Society of North America conference last week by interrupting Professor Tariq Ramadans keynote address on the Khulafa E Rashideen by grabbing the mike from the Oxford Intellectual and saying "Yo Ramadan, Imma let you finish But Ali was supposed to be the first Caliph", before being booed off stage.

MJ 'Claims' Khan

High School Musical 4: Now with X-Men

The world was stunned this past Monday with the news that Disney had bought Marvel in a stock and cash transaction worth 4 billion dollars. The announcement left many Marvel fans in shock, and are now living in abject fear of possible crossovers. Living up to their moniker of dream butchers, Disney have announced their first crossover to be released sometime next year, High School Musical 4: Now with X-Men.

The 4th installment of the immensely popular, yet immensely stupid, movie series High School Musical will reprise most of its cast and will see the High School Musical gang join a new school called Professor C's School for Gifted Dancers. This new movie will see the kids learn that everyone is special in their own way as well as some other life lessons along the way.

While most of High School Musical cast will remain the same, there will be a few changes made to the X-Men cast to appeal to their mostly younger audience. Professor C* (formerly Professor X) will now have the ability to make people fall in love (instead of telepathy) while Peace (formerly known as Rogue) now has the ability to make anyone she touches smile. X-Men fans will be pleased to know Wolverine has kept his name although he no longer has his adamantium skeleton and his super healing but instead has the ability to heal others. Wolverine's role is said to be the hot male nurse of the school.

A number of other Disney/ Marvel crossovers are also planned including Silver Surfing: The Suite Life, Camp Rock 2: Meet Camp Counselor Hulk, Jonas Brothers Learns To Iron Man and Spider Montana.

* - C is short for Cupid

Waseem -Allegedly- Dawood