Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Breakup by Facebook relationship status

Facebook, the popular social network, reached another milestone this week as it saw the first breakup by changing relationship status. Riaz Ali* logged in to his Facebook to find his MiniFeed reading 'Riaz is no longer listed as in a relationship'. On further investigation he discovered his (ex)girlfriend, Rehana Sheik*, had removed him as a friend.

Close friends to the (former) couple say the signs were there for all to see. "She[Rehana] stopped writing on his[Riaz's] wall and removed him from her Top Friends. The breakup was inevitable, he was just in denial."

The couple, who met on Facebook after Riaz clicked on 'Yes' on Rehana's 'Are You Interested?' application, were seemingly in love until Riaz, using the Compare People application, voted Rehana's sister as hotter. "It was really stupid of him not to turn off 'Ok to notify winner'," said Riaz's good friend Bash Mohammed*.

Rehana has since created a group called 'Riaz Ali is a wanker'.

* - This is an asterisk.

Waseem -Allegedly- Dawood

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Zuma dumps Tyson

The brief tumultuous relationship between ANC President, Jacob Zuma, and heavyweight boxer, Mike Tyson, came to an end, last week Wednesday, when the former deputy president, Zuma, left Tyson stranded at a fund-raiser.

Almost-News sources have claimed Tyson flew into S.A., under the pretense of a charity event, to mend his on-off relationship with Zuma. 'He[Tyson] really tried his best to make it work, but Zuma is too interested in furthering his political career,' claimed a close friend.

A teary-eyed Tyson confirmed the breakup on Monday, but claimed the split was mutual.'We decided he[Zuma] needs to focus on his political career and the betterment of the ANC. Things are just not easy for Jacob and I right now.'

Waseem -Allegedly- Dawood