Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Woolworths SA To Become Christian Book Store

Due to the immense popularity of Christian magazines, Woolworths SA have decided to become a Christian book store. Initially, Woolworths SA had removed Christian magazines of their shelves because of the lack of popularity, but due to the public outcry, Woolworths decided to put the magazines back on their shelves. Afterwards, gaging from the response to the magazines' removal, Woolworths realised there was much more money in Christian literature than previously thought, and promptly decided to become a Christian bookstore in preparation for the masses of Christians looking for Christian literature, who will surely descend upon their store.

"So as not to offend anyone, we also plan on opening Islamic, Buddhist, Hindu, Satanist and Scientologist book stores," announced Woolworth's PRO, Kev In."We might look into getting into the food and clothing game at a later date, but at the moment Christian magazines is just too much of a lucrative industry for us to ignore."

Many Christians have rejoiced at the announcement but have confirmed they still don't plan to buy any Christian magazines from Woolworths or anywhere else for that matter. "The announcement by Woolworths is another victory for us Christians, of course this doesn't mean we want to buy magazines or any Christian literature, but just having the option makes us happy." said Maggie Buyer, spokesperson for the People for Christian Magazines in Stores Even Though We Don't Wanna Buy Them (PCMSETWDWBT). When asked why she would not buy any Christian magazines, Maggie replied, "Are you insane? Those magazines are like R69, Huis Genoot is only R12. "

However, athiests and some other religious organisations are quite outraged by Woolworths decision. "How dare they remove and put back Christian magazines in Woolworths?" said NoGod McGinty. "I previously had no interest in Christian magazines and didn't even know Woolworths sold them but now I am outraged they do and even had the audacity to put them back! Saying that, I really hope an event like this happens again so I can make fun of Christians' belief on Facebook pages once more. It is so much fun!"

Waseem -Allegedly- Dawood