Monday, December 20, 2010

SA Launch eWikileaks

Based on the popularity of the international version of Wikileaks, a South African version has also sprung up, calling itself 'eWikileaks'. Founder, Julius Assangeni, said, "This is not to be associated in any way with that crap TV channel. Our aim, similarly to our international counterpart, is to expose the deep dark secrets of our country like the controversial Arms deal and where Patricia De Lille gets her ridiculous outfits from."


The first set of leaks from eWikileaks, coinciding with the 150th anniversary of Indians arriving in South Africa, pertained to South Africa's Indian community. The first leak confirmed the long held belief that the indentured laborers were in fact fooled into believing that they were leaving their beloved India for greener pastures. The leak reads "The 1860 settlers actually believed they were moving up to Joburg to make more money and get to away from their nosy and overbearing families."

Some of the leaks threaten to cause an uproar amongst the Indian community. One of these leaks details that Mahatma Gandhi, the renowned activist, didn't in fact live in Phoenix as previously believed but in fact lived in the luxurious suburb of Umhlanga. This has prompted some of the betrayed Phoenix community members to call for the name of the Mahatma Gandhi Memorial Hospital to be changed to Naidoo's Tuckshop Memorial Hospital.

The most damning and shocking leak however, was of a more recent Indian South African celebrity. The leak read, "Minority Front leader, Amichand Rajbansi's hair is real!"

Waseem -Allegedly- Dawood

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi there,

This is a message for the webmaster/admin here at almost-news.blogspot.com.

Can I use part of the information from this post right above if I give a link back to this site?

Thanks,
Jack

Waseem said...

You may, as long as you are aware this is satire