Thursday, October 23, 2008

Going global

The Almost News team is very happy to announce the appointment of their first Foreign Matters correspondent, who will be reporting on issues from the UK and Europe.

"Yes, I have to say that I do believe that foreign affairs are relevant, as the world is becoming a global village, with it's fair share of village idiots. I am very happy to be a part of the team, in fact I have a feeling of pleasure which has a lot in common with being given first go in a bollock-kicking contest", Mr Parasputin said.

This new appointment comes amidst speculation from the Middle East, that there may be a headhunting campaign to take over reporters from established publications. The Almost News team has met these comments with a categorical denial that these rumours have any factual basis. "Our colleagues at Al-Jahiliyya have nothing to fear."


M Junaid said...

let me be the first to welcome you aboard. Almost News is grateful for acquiring such a talented young man. Remember our Motto 'Objectivity is nothing more than a high scoring word in scrabble

Waseem said...

Welcome aboard, as self proclaimed editor in chief, I would like to direct you to the teapot.