Barack Obama: Closet Muslim?

Rumors have resurfaced that Barack Obama, now president of the United States, is in fact Muslim, despite the numerous stories to the contrary. Conspiracy theorists and rumor mongers are in the process of building up credible evidence to prove once and for all, Obama is a member of the Islamic faith.

The reason for recent suspicions of President Obama's faith, is his sudden disappearance immediately after sunset. White House officials are also concerned about the President waking well before sunrise, and often appearing later with folded trousers.

A source in the IRS has confirmed the President has recently paid out an amount, which totals just above 2.5% of his entire assets, to an anonymous charity. The source also confirmed that this payment happens annually, usually around the time of the Muslims' holy month of Ramadaan.

President Obama has once again refuted rumors, and refused to comment. "I will neither deny nor confirm such ridiculous rumors." The President did however confirm he is planning a 3-4 week trip to Saudi Arabia, and hopes to ease tensions in the Middle East, as well as get a haircut. He also asked everyone for their forgiveness.

Waseem -Allegedly- Dawood