Thursday, December 18, 2008

Zim Play Blame Game

After recent reports by Zimbabwe's Information Minister, Sikhanyiso Ndlovu, blaming the cholera outbreak on "serious biological chemical war . . . a genocidal onslaught on the people of Zimbabwe by the British." Mr. Ndlovu also divulged many other shocking acts of atrocity committed by the rest of the world to the once strong and vibrant country.

"Our inflation is all due to the UN, when Kofi Annan, then secretary general, borrowed our Woolworths card, and bought many items on credit, which he failed to pay for, causing Woolworths to charge us vast amounts of interest, as well as tragically preventing us from ever shopping in Woolworths again. He has yet to return the card!" claimed Mr. Ndlovu, angrily.

"We have also been victims of various acts of terrorism which the international media fails to highlight. This very week, Al-Qaeda smashed my wife's car into the garage door, causing untold damage to our home and casting fear into the very hearts of the Zimbabwean people. The Al Qaeda also placed me, inebriated, into the drivers seat, casting doubt onto my flawless character."

Zimbabwean opposition leader, and 'Prime Minister', Morgan Tsvangirai, refused to confirm Ndlovu's claims, but did however share his own finding that Robert Mugabe was sent by aliens to destroy the whole of Zimbabwe.

At the time of going to press, aliens have since denied such a heinous act, and have considered filing a case of libel against Mr. Tsvangirai, but have been put off by their inability to spell his name.

Waseem -Allegedly- Dawood


Khadija said...

Woolworths card! LOL

Almost News rocks!

Tazeen said...

Kofi Anan is to be blamed for everything that ever went wrong with Zim, the rest can be blamed on George W. Of course Mugabe is as pure as Santa