Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Schabir Shaik Sick Swears Doctors

Due to the huge public outcry, and immense political condemnation, the medical doctors responsible for advising the parole board to allow Schabir Shaik on medical parole, have today decided to speak out on the terminal illness of Mr. Shaik and quash all misconceptions over their high profile decision.

Dr. Q. Uack, speaking from his newly purchased home in Sandton, informed journalists that Mr. Shaik was suffering from a rare and fatal strain of HSV (Home Sickness Virus)."We attempted curing the virus by feeding him home-cooked meals and various other takeouts he used to enjoy, as well as allowing him time out with his son, but he seemed non-responsive to treatment and we were forced to recommend medical parole."

Dr. Joseph Kenilworth of the Joseph Oxford Kenilworth Edwards University, another of the attending doctors, was shocked to find Mr. Shaik suffering from severe depression. "Never in all my years as a doctor have I ever found a prisoner to be suffering from depression. We had to act quickly before the depression spread and many more prisoners became depressed about prison life." Dr Kenilworth however reassured the public that he believed that they had managed to catch the dreaded disease in time.

Dr. F. Ake, another attending doctor, whose credentials include visited the doctor on many occasions, said,"The man[Shaik] is sick, for godsakes, he could die at any minute." When queried as to how long Mr. Shaik had to live, Dr. Ake said,"I don't know. What do I look like? A doctor? "

Waseem -Allegedly- Dawood


M Junaid said...

Joke university :D

hoorah old chap. Ive been neglecting this blog - will rectify it soon

Nooj said...

def :D

Azra said...

LMAO...I wonder how much they paid those Dr's and officials to declare him "ill" :D

Antonio said...

Given the man's history and connections I suppose it is all real convenient that he has been released from jail, however we should not judge without knowing the facts....maybe the guy really is on his deathbed.

On the other hand Life is Terminal from day one. Just how terminal he is we will just have to wait and see. If he lives another more than 5 years we'll know it was all BS.