Beauty helps end terrorism

Rima Fakih stumbled into the world Muslim population's hearts last night when she won the Miss USA pageant at Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino on the Las Vegas Strip. The significant achievement of a Muslim woman overcoming all odds to win the pageant brought a tear to many a heavily kohled eye.

This morning, Al Qaeda released a video calling off all terrorist activity against the United States. The masked spokesperson was translated as saying, "We shall no longer perpetrate any terrorist activity against the United States and all of its organisations, due to the fact that the country is now represented by one of us. We have also forgiven her transgression of being in the City of Sins and not wearing a headscarf because she looked so beautiful. Truly she is the most beautiful Miss USA since Ali Landry."

The Miss USA organisers however were quite taken aback by the discovery that a Muslim woman had won the pageant. When asked about how the organisation felt about being represented by a Muslim, organisers seemed unconvinced. "Are you sure she is Muslim? She doesn't dress like them with all those burka things. Have you seen how much of skin she shows?"

Although scantily clad, Fakih seems to have been well received by even the strictest practitioners of the faith. Sheikh, who wished to remain anonymous, when asked on what he thought of Rima Fakih, replied smiling,"Shi'ite."

Waseem -Allegedly- Dawood