Tuesday, June 8, 2010

"I'm Too Sexy For The Bank"

Scandal has rocked the American financial sector last week, when it was discovered a good looking woman was fired for being too good looking. Debrahlee Lorenzana, the apparently jaw-droppingly beautiful woman who distracts all the male employees with her hotness, claims she has always been harassed for her good looks and was subsequently fired through no other fault than her (insert-deity-name-here)-given beauty.

Lorenzana, who spends her money on designer clothes, found herself unable to afford clothing which complied to the company's dress code and was subsequently fired for being too attractive for the workplace. She was then led to file for unemployment which made her depressed but still really too hot to work. The tragedy really hit home when she and her son skipped gift-giving on Christmas, which made her decide to sue Citibank for discriminating her hotness.

Her attorney seeing the validity in this gorgeous woman's case promptly took her for a photo-shoot to highlight her plight. "Hot people shouldn't have to suffer this kind of discrimination, that should be reserved for ugly people" said her attorney. Lorenzana does not know how many more jobs her hotness will continue to cost her to lose,but she plans on continuing to be hot.

In other news, an average looking woman was fired for being too average looking. Male employees of Pseudo Company complained their work experiences were too forgettable and demanded a hot woman to make their trips to work more worthwhile. "Maybe we will get Debrahlee Lorenzana," said one hopeful male employee.

Waseem -Allegedly- Dawood

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