Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Queer wizard actually queer

In a news flash that has rocked the very foundations of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore, respected headmaster, has been posthumously outed from the closet. Just like Princess Diana, it seems Dumbledore's death has done nothing to quiet the interest in him.

One of his favorite pupils, Harry Potter had this to say. "This is just more proof of how much he hid from me, this makes a lot of sense now that I think about it, that elaborate fashion sense, his weird mannerisms, the gay porn. Damn him, this is so like him to take the spotlight even in death."

Ron Weasley, noted sidekick, expressed shock and discomfort at the news. "Blimey, never pegged Dumbledore for a fruit, I always got the heebie jeebies when I was alone in a room with him ... um not that there is anything wrong with being a battyboy or nothing."

Hermione Granger, smartest girl at Hogwarts (or insufferable know-it-all as she is known to her friends), claims she has always known this. "It was fairly obvious, I thought everyone knew and just did not want to say thing. After all he spent a 100 or so years without marrying, how gay is that"

Headmistress McGonagall still seemed a bit distraught over his death, and this news has only compounded to it causing her to ramble incoherently."It makes no sense ... I mean wasn't he ...was that why he didn't ...it is always the good ones. Damn that Grindelwald."

Aberforth, Dumbledore's estranged brother, known sexual deviant, was surprisingly accepting of this piece of news. "I always knew him and that Grindelwald feller were doing more than just magical experiments if you know what I'm saying."

-Waseem 'Allegedly' Dawood-

NB. JK Rowling actually said that she always thought of Dumbledore as gay in a reading at Carnegie Hall.


aksn1p3r said...

and did you know Harry is Voldemort's bitch?

M Junaid said...

first hamza, now you !
how am i supposed to top this
ok - 'l just publish a quick crap one, then do a better one on the weekend

!Joe! said...

eish, you boys :D

eish...you boys, hehehe...

Libra said...

In an unrelated incident, Gandalf the Grey has dropped Dumbledore as a Facebook friend.

qdee said...

hehe, this is so making the moody Q smile right now :)
made my day and i marketed you to a few ppl. i'll add that to the bill